Therapy in Cases of Parental Alienation

The issue of therapy manipulated by brainwashing and alienating parents and the modifications of memory that can occur must likewise be understood. A competent evaluator must be able to describe memory interference and explain the effects of therapy and modifications of reality within the child, by interviewers and therapists. Take for example the child who has not been abused by a parent, but who nonetheless is taken for therapy for the alleged (but false) abuse. At first, the child’s denial that any such abuse happened may well be met with the therapist asking repeated questions about the alleged abuse.

This of course, would send the message to the child that they got the answer wrong. In the repeated question environment, the child may eventually respond with “I don’t know…maybe.” The naive therapist then takes this as a confirmation and it is fed back to the child as a validation. Therefore in a later session, the therapist may say something like “you told me that this happened” which then further commits the child to the false accusation. With the passage of time and a number of sessions, the child is likely to believe that such abuse – originally denied – did in fact occur. At this point the child has become delusional. With respect to the kind of therapy children in these cases may be forced in to by a brainwashing / alienating parent, Campbell (1992) explained:

“A play therapist can profoundly distort the memory of a child by suggesting interpretations of what the child supposedly encountered or experienced. In response to the therapist’s influence, children accept these interpretations as legitimate. They then resort to their imaginations – though convinced they are searching their memories – inventing anecdotes of past events which appear to validate the therapist’s interpretations.”

Ceci and Bruck (1995) point out that when children who have not been abused are subjected to treatment as if they had been abused, great harm is done to the child. Such treatment has the effect of interjecting a false belief in the child that they had been abused when in fact they had not. In so doing, the child’s reality testing is further damaged. They point out, referring to the inappropriate therapy following a false positive evaluation for sexual abuse, “You do harm to the child because you don’t help the child to distinguish between what is possible, what is real, what is not real; what is a fantasy and what is real….So a lot of these children got worse in the course of treatment (Ceci & Bruck, 1995). Further, regarding therapy or evaluative interviews on a child who may or may not have been abused, they point out that therapy and all interaction with the child should be restricted to coping strategies. Other therapeutic enterprises such as the use of fantasy induction, imagery pal and so called “memory work,” should be saved for after the legal resolution (Ceci & Bruck, 1995).

Family Therapy

Family therapy involves treating a family as a system.[1] Any dysfunction in one member affects all other members.[2] The family is viewed as the client.[3] This is especially true in cases where a child may be suffering psychological distress due to “parental discord.”[4] A child’s reactions to parental discord cannot be treated or evaluated “apart from the context in which they occur.”[5] Research has shown that children cannot be expected to change unless the family system changes.[6] Therefore, treatment of any child embroiled in parental conflict must address any psychological distress or functional impairments as a manifestation of disturbances within the whole family relational system.[7] The role of the “total family in aiding or in sabotaging treatment [should be] the focus, even when a distinct, diagnosable psychiatric illness is present in [only] one of the family members.”[8] Thus, the identified “symptom bearer” of the family should not be viewed as “the problem.”[9] Rather, the dysfunctional family “transactional patterns,” that commonly lead to disturbed family relationships, should be viewed as “the problem” and the focus of clinical attention/intervention.[10]

Minuchin et al. (1978) observed in their work with psychosomatic families three common dysfunctional transactional patterns where “the children were included in the formation of alliances or coalitions with one parent against the other” causing them “extreme distress.”[11] As Minuchin et al. note in their research, these patterns consisted of the “conflict avoidance” strategies (1) “triangulation,” (2) “parent-child coalition,” and (3) “detouring.”[12] In triangulation, “the child is put in such a position that she cannot express herself without siding with one parent against the other.”[13] Statements that impose a choice, such as “Wouldn’t you rather do it my way?” are used in the attempt to force the child to take sides.[14] In a parent-child coalition, “the child tends to move into a stable coalition with one parent against the other.” In the third pattern, detouring, “the spouse dyad is united wherein the parent submerge their conflicts in a posture of protecting or blaming their sick child, who is defined as the only family problem.”[15] It is important to note that these patterns are not family classifications; rather, they describe “transactional sequences that occur in response to family conflict.”[16] High conflict divorced/separated families tend to “enact” these sequences over and over again as a maladaptive response to conditions of stress and tension where the child is frequently pushed into “the role of conflict defuser.”[17]

Divorced or separated families often present a challenge to family therapy. This is especially true when the family system is unable to tolerate disagreement through a marked inability to confront differences and negotiate fair resolutions to normal everyday family stressors and problems.[18] One of the major goals of family therapy should be to help family members let go of any stereotyped positions while mobilizing “underused resources” to enhance the family’s ability to manage and work through normal stress and conflict.[19] One of the most underused resources commonly overlooked is weekly “family meetings.”[20] Family meetings often provide constructive ways of increasing mutual understanding and improvement to overall family communication.[21] They also can obviate the need for a family’s homeostatic maintenance of the symptom bearer and/or presenting problem.[22]

Other important treatment goals of family therapy may include:   

  • Restructuring maladaptive relationships and interactional family styles
  • Strengthening and/or changing family problem-solving behaviors
  • Changing dysfunctional transactional patterns between members
  • Preventing and/or undoing triangulation
  • Establishing appropriate family roles, rules and boundaries
  • Helping the children understand and appreciate the value and importance of maintaining positive and compassionate relationships with both parents
  • Assisting parents in learning how to practice presenting positive and healthy images of the other parent to the children
  • Teaching the children how to develop critical thinking skills and the benefits of staying out of the middle of parental conflict.[23]

Children who engage in family therapy that teach these skills often develop positive / healthy relationships with both parents while learning how to stay out of the middle of their parent’s conflicts.[24] Parents who engage in family therapy that helps them learn how to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing relationship between the children and the other parent often develop stronger and healthier relationships with their children.[25]

Footnotes: [1] Minuchin, S. (1974). Families and family therapy. Harvard University Press. [2] Smith, L. S. (2016). Family-based therapy for parent-child reunification. Journal of Clinical Psychology: In Session, 72(5), 498-512. [3] Gladding, S. T. (2015). Family therapy: History, theory, and practice (6th ed.). Pearson. [4] American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders fifth edition. Author. Page 716. [5] Sholevar, G. P., & Schwoeri, L. D. (Eds.) (2003). Textbook of family and couples therapy: Clinical applications. American Psychiatric Association. Page 3. [6] Haley, J. (1962). Family experiments: A new type of experimentation. Family Process, 1(2), 265-293. [7] Minuchin, S., & Fishman, H. C. (1981). Family therapy techniques. Harvard University Press. [8] Sholevar, G. P., & Schwoeri, L. D. (Eds.) (2003). Textbook of family and couples therapy: Clinical applications. American Psychiatric Association. Page 4. [9] Minuchin, S., & Fishman, H. C. (1981). Family therapy techniques. Harvard University Press. Page 28.. [10] Id. at 16. [11] Minuchin, S., Baker, L., & Rosman, B. (1978). The psychosomatic family. In Psychosomatic families: Anorexia nervosa in context (pp. 23-50). Harvard University Press. Page 33. [12] Id. [13] Id. [14] Id. [15] Id. [16] Id. [17] Id. [18] Minuchin, P., Colapinto, J., & Minuchin, S. (2006). Working with families of the poor (2nd ed.). Guilford Press. [19] Minuchin, S., Reiter, M. D., & Borda, C. (2013). The craft of family therapy: Challenging certainties. Routledge. [20] Dattilio, F. M., & Jongsma, A. E. (2014). The family therapy treatment planner with DSM-5 updates second edition. Wiley. Page 24. [21] Id. at 83. [22] Goldenberg, I., Goldenberg, H., & Goldenberg Pelavin, E. (2014). Family therapy. In Danny Wedding and Raymond J. Corsini (Eds.), Current psychotherapies tenth edition (pp. 373–409). Thomson Brooks/Cole. [23] Smith, L. S. (2016). Family-based therapy for parent-child reunification. Journal of Clinical Psychology: In Session, 72(5), 498-512. [24] Baker, A. J. L., & Brassard, M. R. (2013). Adolescents caught in parental loyalty conflicts. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 54, 393-413. [25] Knapp, S. E., & Jongsma, A. E. (2005). The parenting skills treatment planner. Wiley.

Parental Alienation, Traditional Therapy and Family Bridges: What Works, What Doesn’t and Why: Part I

In this article published in the American Journal of Family Law (Vol. 33 No. 4), PsychLaw team leader Dr. Lorandos discusses the characteristics of alienated children and alienating parents and why traditional therapies don’t work.

Parental Alienation, Traditional Therapy and Family Bridges: What Works, What Doesn’t and Why: Part II

In this article published in the American Journal of Family Law (Vol. 34 No. 1), PsychLaw team leader Dr. Lorandos discusses the history of family bridges, how it works, and why it works.